"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
(1 Peter 3:1-4 ESV)
These are a few of the verses my pastor preached on today. You can see that the message of this passage is directed toward wives, but I actually got a lot out of it even as a single woman. I wanted to share it on my blog to hopefully bless others with what the Lord is teaching and challenging me in.
To begin, here are some of my notes from the sermon. I spaced them out to hopefully make them easier to follow as you read them:
Wives, your submission is a powerful ministry to your husband and very precious in God's sight.
Wives must submit to their husbands as a powerful Gospel witness.
Wives must submit even amidst suffering.
It's not about your happiness. It's about the glory of God and your holiness.
If you're living out your purpose for the glory of God, He will bring joy and contentment.
This passage is not only to wives with unbelieving husbands.
Believing husbands are ALSO impacted by their wives submission.
It is a wife's conduct that is most powerful.
Not her persuasive words but her persuasive life...
Right submission begins with a fear of the Lord.
Holy conduct is powerful. When the wife is living a holy and Godly life, the husband sees these things and is impacted.
A wife's primary responsibility is her inward beauty not outward.
Outward appearance can be destructive and deceiving.
Certain adornments can draw unnecessary attention.
Outward appearance should not be first priority. If we're focused most on the outward, there are other things we are likely neglecting that are more important.
A wife's focus should not be on what is perishable but what is imperishable.
Appearance seems to be everything in this world. A lot of relationships are built on appearance which is lead by infatuation rather than wisdom.
(There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.)
The "imperishable" isn't always evident immediately. You may need to be around it awhile to see it. Also you must be of like mind to see it.
What is it? A quiet and gentle spirit.
Examples were given of what it means to have a quiet and gentle spirit.
It is this inner beauty that God highly values. We need to value what God values!
Wives have a vital ministry to the kingdom of God!
God's Word says that this is very precious in His sight.
Submission to husbands has always been the pattern of Godly women. (1 Peter 3:5,6)
Holy women of past focused on inward beauty and submission. They focused on making themselves beautiful inwardly.
So...submission to husbands and inner beauty are the main focus. Now it could be easy for me to believe this doesn't apply to me yet because I'm not married. I can definitely use this passage to encourage many of my friends who are already married. But...I COULD be married one day as I would like to be. Yet, God may not plan for me to ever be married which I am open to if He never brings along a man who can lead me in the way that I desire to be lead Spiritually. Either way, I still believe that this can apply to me in many ways.
Wives are called to submit to their husbands. Am I submitting to the authorities that God has placed in my life at the current time? Am I submitting to God in humble obedience to the things that He calls me to do today? Am I surrounding myself with examples of Godly married women who are faithfully submitting to their own husbands?
There is much I can learn about submission as a single woman, and the more I learn NOW the more prepared I'll be should I one day become married!
I like how Pastor Rick stated that it's not about our happiness but about the glory of God and our personal holiness. This can also be applied to other areas of life, but it encourages me as a person who would like to be married. I am reminded that marriage isn't any better or easier than being single, but may in fact be more difficult. So it's encouraging to be more thankful for the place that God has put me for the time being. I know that God's ultimate purpose for me is to make me more like Christ, not to make me happy in this life. And though He does bless us with happiness, He may allow for pain in life to bring about the holiness that He desires which will ultimately bring more joy to me although I may not see it or like it in the moment!
Right submission begins with fear of the Lord. Now THIS applies to all of us! It's really cool too because this is something that the Lord has been teaching me already in the past few weeks. I've been reminded that fear of God is the only fear I must have and that I need not fear man in any way- what man may do or what man may think of me. God's opinion and God's approval is the only ONE that matters. So to be learning more about fearing God and having more reverence for Him is much needed in my life and a way in which this passage can apply to me whether or not I may get married!
A wife's primary responsibility is her inward beauty. Ok, so this applies to single women too. This is one of the things that most impacted me from the sermon because I AM single and I would like to attract the right man. But what qualities am I displaying in my life to attract that right man? Am I displaying the qualities that are listed in this passage that a wife is to have? Because, for one thing, if I am displaying them now, they will be more easy to display if I ever do get married. But even more importantly(at least for where I am at), if I am displaying them now I will be more likely to draw the right kind of attention and not attention from the kind of guy that I would never want to be married to!
So...am I too focused on my outward appearance? Am I more consumed with looking good outwardly than looking good inwardly?
I like how Pastor said that we must be of like mind to see it...So the right guy will be of the right mind to notice these things that are beautiful and precious and valuable to God. Therefore, they'll also be precious to him!
And should it not be the Lord's will for me to be married, it's still the best way to live to bless everyone else that I come in contact with because I'll be more focused on God and on serving Him (which includes serving others) rather than being focused on myself.
I desire to follow the pattern of Godly women who are all throughout the pages of Scripture and also the Godly women of ages past and those in my life today that God has given to me to look up to, encourage, and learn from! I am very grateful for my Grandma and for my own mom who have given me great examples of what it means to be a submissive wife with this inward beauty.
I think that this inward beauty is a gift from God and also something that we have to strive for if we desire to have it in our lives.
And for those of you who are married, I'm sure that submission to your husband isn't easy. But remember that it is honoring and glorifying to God, and He tells you that you must submit first to Him and then to your husband. It is something that you may have to prayerfully strive for every day, but will be blessed by God for setting aside your own selfishness at times and following God no matter what the cost!
And to the other single girls out there, be encouraged! God's timing is best and He knows what He is doing in your life and in the life of your future husband if He has one planned for you. Strive to be the best woman that you can be for the glory of God and that's all that matters. Life isn't about us. It's about Him. He is working on us to make us holy...Sometimes it can be a rough road, but it will be worth it all in the end when we come face to face with our Savior!
