Thy way, not mine, O Lord

The previous entry that I posted was a song by Kutless called "I'm Still Yours".

If you have opportunity, take the time now to read the lyrics. It's a pretty powerful song that I was introduced to on a trip to TN a few weekends ago to see my little sister graduate. At the time when I first heard the song, the Lord was really molding this piece of clay for His use by way of a rough situation in my life. I was realizing at the time that even if I knew that God was taking my very life from me, that I would still be lifting my hands and praising Him because He's the one who gave me my very life and all of the things in it. My faith was truly being strengthened, and I have found that God uses the most difficult times in our lives to draw us even nearer to Himself. Because of this, I have (believe it or not) found myself asking Him for suffering and for trials if that is what it will take for me to stay near to Him and grow stronger in my faith.

God has not hesitated to answer my prayers for difficult times. And now amidst another difficult moment, I am reminded that I ASKED GOD FOR THIS. I did. So I praise you Lord for being a God who gives and takes away.
And I am reminded of Psalm 23 where David says,
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
He is with me! And there is no place else that I would rather be than near to my Heavenly Father.

And so, I am reminded of a favorite song that I enjoy listening to when I find myself really wanting something and not quite giving it to the Lord. I think of Jesus in the Garden when He prayed, "Not my will but Yours." May we make this our prayer as well because His will is so much greater than ours and He knows us so much better than we know ourselves and has only good planned no matter what we are going through even when it seems dark.
We need only to give ourselves to Him...our desires, our hopes, our dreams, our plans, our decisions, our futures, our everything. And He will bless.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship." -Romans 12:1


Thy way, not mine, O Lord
However dark it be
Lead me by Thine own hand
Choose out the path for me, for me

Smooth let it be or rough
It will still be the best
Winding or straight, it leads
Right onward to Thy rest

I dare not choose my lot
I would not, if I might

Choose Thou for me, my God
So I can walk aright

Take Thou my cup, and it
With joy or sorrow fill
As best to Thee may seem
Choose Thou my good and ill

Not mine, not mine the choice
In all things great or small
Be Thou my guide, my strength
My wisdom and my all, my wisdom and my all


© 2008 Sovereign Grace Worship

If I Lost it All

I'm Still Yours
by Kutless

If You washed away my vanity
If You took away my words
If all my world was swept away
Would You be enough for me?
Would my beating heart still sing?

If I lost it all
Would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives and takes away

If You take it all
This life You've given
Still my heart will sing to You

When my life is not what I expected
The plans I made have failed
When there's nothing left to steal me away
Will You be enough for me?
Will my broken heart still sing?

If I lost it all
Would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives
And takes away

If You take it all
This life You've given
Still my heart
Will sing to You

Even if You take it all away
You’ll never let me go
Take it all away
But I still know

That I'm Yours
I'm still Yours

I am Nothing

I Am Nothing
by Jeremy Camp

Seems I'm always in this place,
Where the things I seem to take,
Are the things I wish would fade
I always purpose in my heart,
To do things the right way,
Then I realize I'm still clay
And this piece that's being shaped,
Will be a beauty You create

I am nothing without Your love
I'm unworthy but Your death has been enough
I'm completed by Your touch,
But I feel like I've been given so much
So I thank You,
I thank You

I wouldn't even face,
All the troubles of the day,
If it wasn't for Your grace
Sometimes I even wait,
To see if I'm awake,
Seems so good I can't relate
And Your every word I crave,
And I'm grateful for every breath I take

I am nothing without Your love
I'm unworthy but Your death has been enough
I'm completed by Your touch,
But I feel like I've been given so much
So I thank You,
I thank You

When feeling all my shame,
You won't let it stay,
I sail away into Your love

I'm taking every day,
To give my life away,
It's the only way I know

I am nothing without Your love
I'm unworthy but Your death has been enough
I'm completed by Your touch,
But I feel like I've been given so much
I am nothing without Your love

You are everything
So I thank You,
I thank You
Lord, I thank You
Thank You

PSALM 42

Why Are You Cast Down, O My Soul?

1 As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while they say to me all the day long,
“Where is your God?”

4 These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I would go with the throng
and lead them in procession to the house of God
with glad shouts and songs of praise,
a multitude keeping festival.

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation 6 and my God.

My soul is cast down within me;
therefore I remember you
from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,
from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
at the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your waves
have gone over me.

8 By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God, my rock:
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning
because of the oppression of the enemy?”

10 As with a deadly wound in my bones,
my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me all the day long,
“Where is your God?”

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.

Looking back and reaching forward

Today I have had some time to read back in many of my old journals. If you aren't a journaler, I would highly encourage it. I have found that journaling is a beautiful way to write out my thoughts and prayers to the Lord. I like to keep track of the things that He is teaching me each day and what He is doing in my life.
I have kept a journal since before high school, so I have quite a few. It has been interesting to see how much I have grown over the years and see what God was doing at particular times in my life.
I want to share a poem that I found in an entry at the end of 2003. I believe that my knowledge of God at the time was mainly head knowledge. I understood a lot of the Bible having been raised in a Christian home, as well as having attended 2 years of Bible college, but my heart wasn't yet completely His.

journal entry 12/28/03:
I can write on these pages so easily and freely. I can't talk to anyone this way. I don't know if I ever will.

I feel as if I'm just existing.

EXISTING AM I

Existing am I
Here on this earth
Knowing how little
My life has been worth
Not much was accomplished
As years have flown by
And that's just it
Existing am I

Only God can prove to me
Why I'm on earth
Only God can truly show
How much I am worth
He did in fact already
By sending His Son
That I could exist
May His will be done

At the time of writing this I can remember just being "stuck" in habitual sinful patterns and feeling depressed.
We are here on earth more than just to exist. It has taken me years to understand what this really means...and I am still learning every day. I thank God that there is more to life than merely "existing" or just surviving from one day to the next. I also thank Him for saving me and giving me eternal life. To think that Jesus Christ came to die that I might be saved truly does show me how much I am worth to God! Now, by His grace and with His strength, I am able (among many other things) to love Him, live for Him, serve Him, praise His name, and give Him glory!
The old has gone, the new has come.(2 Cor. 5:17)
"One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead."(Phil. 3:13b)

If you don't yet know Him,
come to Jesus Christ. He is everything and all you will ever need.
Today is the day of salvation!(2 Cor. 6:2)

"That if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Bless the LORD, O my soul!

The Lord used this Psalm to encourage my heart this morning. As you read it, think about what it means to you personally as you are reminded of what the Lord has done for you.

PSALM 103

A Psalm of David.

1 Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.

2 Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;

3 Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;

4 Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;

5 Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

6 The LORD performs righteous deeds
And judgments for all who are oppressed.

7 He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.

8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.

9 He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.

10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.

12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

13 Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.

14 For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.

15 As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.

16 When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
And its place acknowledges it no longer.

17 But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,

18 To those who keep His covenant
And remember His precepts to do them.

19 The LORD has established His throne in the heavens,
And His sovereignty rules over all.

20 Bless the LORD, you His angels,
Mighty in strength, who perform His word,
Obeying the voice of His word!

21 Bless the LORD, all you His hosts,
You who serve Him, doing His will.

22 Bless the LORD, all you works of His,
In all places of His dominion;
Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Verse 2 says to “forget none of His benefits.” The following verse begins with the “benefit” of His forgiveness of sins. I love how David starts out with this because forgiveness of sins is of greatest importance. If we had everything but God’s forgiveness, we would have nothing worthwhile. But if we DO have God’s forgiveness then everything else is promised (as we also find in Romans 8:32). All of these undeserved gifts are from the Lord and we see His character in verse 8 which we also find in Exodus 34, "The LORD, the LORD God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin…” It is especially beautiful to me to think of the Lord’s forgiveness. I love verse 10 which talks about how He hasn’t dealt with us according to our sins nor rewarded us according to our iniquity. He doesn’t give us what we actually deserve! As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us (vs 12). Thank you Father!

How sweet to think about God as our Father having compassion on His children (vs 13). He knows our frame, He knows we are but dust and that our days are like grass (vs 14,15). But His lovingkindness is from everlasting to everlasting (vs 17)! So for those of us who FEAR HIM it says that God’s lovingkindness is forever. He is sovereignly ruling from His throne on high(vs 19) and is faithful to all of His promises.

Oh Lord that I may fear You and tell of Your wondrous works. Thank You for such promises in Your Word. Bless the LORD, O my soul!

What do we deserve?

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ." Ephesians 1:3

I wanted to share something from Milton Vincent's book, "A Gospel Primer."
"A Gospel Primer" is a book that focuses 100% on the Gospel reminding us how we need to preach the Gospel to ourselves every day to be centered on what Christ has done for us that we may experience the life-transforming power that comes from the work of the Gospel in our own hearts as Christians.

We NEED to meditate on the Gospel and preach it to ourselves. We never outgrow our need for it! We cannot be strong in our own strength. The only strength that will be there when we need it is the strength that comes from the Gospel.

What I wanted to share here reminds us of what we actually deserve from God, and in remembering this we can only be grateful for what we do have even if it doesn't seem to be fair to us at the time. We are told to give thanks in all circumstances(1 Thess. 5:18), and how can we not when we are focusing on the Gospel and being reminded of what we actually deserve and would be receiving had it not been for God's love for us in sending Christ Jesus to die on the cross for us to bear upon Himself the wrath that we deserve.
Thank you Lord Jesus!

"For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with Him." 1 Thess. 5:9,10
"and to wait for His Son from heaven, whom He raised from the dead, Jesus who delivers us from the wrath to come." 1 Thess. 1:10

I pray that this encourages us all in the Lord as we face the difficulties and the blessings of our day.


"A Gospel Primer" by Milton Vincent
-Thankfulness Enriched by Relief

The more absorbed I am in the Gospel, the more grateful I become in the midst of my circumstances, whatever they may be.

Viewing life's blessings as water in a drinking cup, I know that I could discontentedly focus on the half of the cup that seems empty, or I could gratefully focus on the half that is full. Certainly, the latter approach is the better of the two, yet the Gospel cultivates within me a richer gratitude than this.

The Gospel reminds me first that what I actually deserve from God is a full cup churning with the torments of His wrath. This is the cup that would be mine to drink if I were given what I deserve each day. With this understanding in mind, I see that to be handed a completely empty cup from God would be cause enough for infinite gratitude. If there were merely the tiniest drop of blessing contained in that otherwise cup, I should be blown away by the unbelievable kindness of God toward me. That God, in fact, has given me a cup that is full of "every spiritual blessing in Christ" and this without the slightest admixture of wrath, leaves me truly dumbfounded with inexpressible joy. As for my specific earthly circumstances of plenty of want, I can see them always as infinite improvements on the hell I deserve.

When I look at any circumstance that God apportions me, I am first grateful for the wrath I am not receiving in that moment (The empty part of the cup never looked so good!). Second, I am grateful for the blessings that are given me instead of His wrath. (Life's blessings, however small always appear exceedingly precious when viewed against the backdrop of the wrath I deserve.) This two-layered gratitude disposes my heart to give thanks in all things and it also lends a certain intensity to my giving of thanks. Such a Gospel-generated gratitude glorifies God, contributes to my peace of mind, and keeps my foot from the path of foolishness and ruin.