The Rich Single Life

These are some thoughts I've had floating around in my head lately that I've somewhat placed together here to hopefully encourage others.

I recently finished reading a book by a pastor, Andrew Farmer called "The Rich Single Life." It's not a book on HOW TO get married, but how to best glorify God during your time of singleness. It was encouraging to me as I am in this moment of waiting on the Lord for a husband (should it be His will for me to be married in this life). Sometimes it can get very discouraging being 28 and still single watching all of my friends getting married and now having their second or third child. Not only that, but now "kids" younger than me are getting married!

This pastor says, "You'll always have the gift of singleness as long as you're single. When you get married, you wont need it anymore." I like that. :-) He also says, "Singleness & marriage can be viewed as parallel states- each having their own particular joys and sorrows."
I have many reasons to be thankful that I am still single, one being that I am not married to the wrong man as I very well could have been had I gotten married when I wanted to be married. By the grace of God, He did not allow that to happen. So for that I am thankful. Also, I have had opportunity to become close to several older married couples and observe their relationships with one another as well how they raise their children and their interaction with them. A few of my closest friends are married, and I've been able to see firsthand that it doesn't get better or easier in life just because you're married. As I quoted from this book, marriage and singleness DO both have their joys and sorrows. They both have their good and bad times. It's just as easy to be discontent being married as it is being single. Another blessing for me today is being able to spend time with my parents and sister. We have been able to become closer and grow together and get to know each other in ways not everyone gets to experience if they're married and have moved away from home.

Also from the book: "The gift of singleness can make certain things possible that being married could not do." I was very encouraged by this book! It helped me to think through the stage that I am in where the Lord has placed me for this particular time. I've examined my own life and considered the different things that I am using my "free" time for. Am I using it purely for myself? Am I using it wasting away in sad thoughts of how I wish I were married? Am I forgetting all the blessings that the Lord has placed in my life? Something else that stands out in my mind that I remember reading in this book is how flexible singles can be. This is the time of my life that I can be most flexible to do whatever in the world I want to do. How can I best glorify God today?

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34

One more very important thing that was noted in this book that I had never considered in this way before...
"Singleness is not just a gift to the individual believer, it's a gift to the body of Christ, and always has been." Farmer goes on to name several individuals who lived most of their life(or at least a good portion of it)as a single. Many of these people were missionaries who were able to do particular things that someone who was married wouldn't quite have the time for.
I've seen in my own life how the Lord has placed opportunities in front of me of things I can do because of my flexibility that I wouldn't be able to do otherwise. One of these things is babysitting. I don't do it often enough, but when I do it's just as much a blessing to me as it may be to that family. It has provided opportunities to get to know families and children in ways I wouldn't otherwise. This reminds me of the section of Paul's passage in 1 Corinthians about singleness.

1 Cor. 7:32-35 "I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."

closing thoughts...

So not only do I have all of the blessings I've already named, but MOST IMPORTANTLY I have more time to spend with the Lord. As I meditate on that for a moment...am I really using my time for Him? Have I secured my undivided devotion to the Lord? Who or what am I devoting my time to? Will I one day look back and think of all the time I've wasted that could've been spent with the Lord in His Word or on my knees in prayer? Did I pass the time doing meaningless things that I could have been spending drawing nearer to my precious Savior?

Yes, I still struggle with being content with where the Lord has placed me; but it's a comfort knowing that God is in control and He won't keep me single a day longer than He has planned. He knows me better than I do and what is best for me. I have to trust Him. I must ask Him moment by moment to remind me of this and to help me rest in Him and live for His glory and not for my own pleasures and desires.

After all...it's not about me. It's about Him!!